Texts from Mom: The Mouse Saga

We haven't done a Texts from my Mother post in a LONG time.
The good news is she just got an iPhone. The bad news is she also got a Facebook.
I think the auto-correct feature is helping out with her typos and weird occurrences of numbers and symbols (I kinda miss them). But I think it is increasing her frequency of texting.
So is the mouse situation she has going on at home.

I know it's a little hard to follow along, so no worries if you click away. But if you do read, you're in for some MOUSE DRAMA!

And now she is sending pictures of all of the evidence.

That last part, I'm not really sure what she is trying to say...
Update...this is what she was referencing: 

And then later I find out the entire house has been changed into a giant mousetrap. 

And here is an up close of my dad's favorite trap, a mouse drowning trap. 

Complete with chocolate syrup. Or as the guy at Home Depot called it, Mouse Crack. 

We also have a situation where the squirrels are eating all of my dad's tomatoes in the back yard.
Don't get her started on that drama....

Flu Tips, From Mom

And for the latest installment of Texts from My Mother...

Mom has been home from work for a few weeks from an injury, and recently caught a little bug.

So, her normal health advisories have been ramped up with FLU TIPS!

And also, dog updates. 

Nurse Band-Aid is in full effect with these.

And as she states, they are not just from my Licensed RN Mother, but also the CDC.

You're welcome.

Good news, she has a million more. 

Texts from My Dad: Playoff Edition

It's been a stressful week.
And a crazy exciting NLCS Series.
In case you didn't hear, the Giants are going to the World Series.
It has been some good texting with my dad during the games, here are a few of the highlights. 
My dad is one funny guy.
My personal favorite is the last one.

Texts from My Dad: The Harvest

A few weeks ago, my dad sent me and my sister the following text.

That cute little mini green tomato was left perfectly intact on one of the stairs inside the house.
I responded that she probably just thought it was one of her toys growing on the tree.

He did some further investigating to discover who was the true culprit...

Chloe got away scott free...
I think Mylie was framed.

I'm pretty sure Chloe is the one who comes up with the mischievous ideas and somehow tricks Mylie into pulling them off....

Anyway, the sad, green tomato sat on my parents counter for a few days, Mylie got a bath, and the whole tomato scandal was forgotten.


Until the other day....

I mean come on, I'm with Mylie, the fields are ready to be harvested.

Uncomfortable. Like, Really.

There are a few things out there right now that are making me feel quite uncomfortable.
I don't usually share my strong opinions on here too often... But, today I'm making an exception.
I feel like I need to share them with you, so I can feel better.
Catharsis, you know?
Tell me you're with me.

Let's start with this.

Gangnam Style is #1 on iTunes.
WHY?!?!
WHYYYYYYY?

Who is paying $1.29 for that?
It's not that awesome.

In fact, its weird, and awkward, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I don't hate the song.
Or the dance.
I love a good dance move.
But, why are millions of people feeling the need to OWN the song?

I held a cat.
To be more accurate, a kitten.
I mean, kittens CAN be kinda cute.
But we all know they turn into cats.
I decided to give this one a chance - his name was Salt-n-Pepa.
His cuter brother was Mr. McMeowy.

The good thing is, once I was holding him I was kinda over it.
Like real fast.
Less than 30 seconds.
Also I was scared he was going to scratch me.
I couldn't get him to unhook his claws from my sweatshirt.
I'm not a fan.

I'm uncomfortable that I held him long enough to get this picture.

I'm uncomfortable how much I like this stupid video.
I really, really, really didn't want to.
But the repeat of Julia Child rapping "ready to roll. ready to roll"
I couldn't help but stifle a laugh.
And that turned into a full on giggle, turned chuckle.
So good.
This is autotune done right, folks.

    


I'm uncomfortable that my sister got to see the famous Josh Hutcherson (Peeta from Hunger Games) in SF the other day, while I was behind a desk at work.
BOO.
And by uncomfortable, I mean jealous.
But I did help her tag team the super sleuthing.
Pic on the left was what he tweeted 2 hours before she saw him.
I sent it to her to confirm his outfit was the same.
IT WAS HIM.
Pic on the right was the one she got while hiding out across the street lurking him.

Lastly, I used to be uncomfortable admitting I was a Katykat. AKA a Katy Perry Fan.
I am going to admit I might, just MIGHT, be a Nicki Minaj fan.
Does her fan club have a fun name? If it does, that might seal the deal.



Tell me.
Am I alone in all of these uncomfortable ways?

The Most Expensive Cheesecake Ever.

I have had Pam's Cheesecake a few times now.
Once in Kansas. Which is where this cheesecake hails from.
Authentic.

Once again when Jessica PinterTested. It was CRAZY good too.
The fudge striped cookies, sugar, and butter created a caramelized crust.
SO. GOOD.

So the other night, when I got this text from Marge - I had almost NO reservations about wanting to make it!
Word is the underground name for this cheesecake is the "Twenty Dollar Cheesecake" - due to the sheer amount of cream cheese blocks it requires.

But it's so, so, so worth every penny.
So Marge arrived. Cream Cheese, Sour Cream, Cookies, and Whipped Cream in hand.
And we got to baking.

Marge made the crust while I whipped the cream cheese into oblivion.
Thank-you-pretty-pink-mixer.

I wasn't planning a blog post about this cheesecake, so I didn't take any pictures of the process.
But right after the cheesecake in the oven, MOD (master of disaster) was about to strike, at epic level proportions. 

First off. This happened.
Unrelated to cheesecake.

And it remains like that several days later.
I don't have the energy, or height to deal with it.


Secondly, I should have reviewed Jessica's Pintertest post:

Welp. Lesson learned. Because the cheesecake decided to party in my oven.

It still turned out beautifully.
100% devoured at church on Sunday AM.

And let's get to the MOST EXPENSIVE CHEESECAKE EVER part....

Monday night, I threw a sheet of Sweet Potato Fries in my oven.
10 minutes later I went to flip them...
I open my oven, and smoke comes BLASTING OUT.
And the whole bottom of the oven erupts into FLAMES.

Like. FIERY FLAMES.
ORANGE.
FLAMES.

Like, as in FIRE.

UM....
I shut the door.
And run opening doors, windows, and grabbing my cell phone....debating between 9-1-1 and my dad.
(Dad won).

And eventually the flames went out. And smoke steamed out the top for a while...

And then when I went to inspect the situation...this happened.

The handle came off.
And some side metal bar part.

So, I'm thinking, I might need a new oven?
Or at least some ridiculous repair.
This is one expensive cheesecake.

So for now, me and my microwave are BFF's.
Hopefully she doesn't burst into flames anytime soon.

Out n About: A Guest Post from CuppaDad

A few weeks ago, my dad emailed me these pictures.
Complete with captions.
I realized they would make an excellent guest post.
So while I'm off gallivanting for a couple weeks, I thought you'd enjoy a little something from my dad's POV.

headed to the coast......not so fast.....gridlock

"Happy Girl"

"Happy Girl"

"Happy Girl"(Hour)

Dinner guest

Chow'n down

"Ticks, poison oak, rattlesnakes, mountain lions, OH MY!" "Where's Laura?" "She like's this stuff!"

Stick with "Rattle"

Stick with "Rattle"

   Just another day around here with the Ol' Folks

   Love, Pops

Damn Bird.

Sorry.
I had to.

I have been on Team Bird for years.
Last summer, I told you about my obsession with the birds trying to make nests in the rafters of my building's walkways - here and here.

I checked on the tiniest little egg in our building's gate (a hummingbird maybe?) daily for almost a week, until it was viciously removed disappeared.

Last month, I even shared a pic of the birds that had the longest lasting next this year.
They lasted over a week before the maintenance guy found them.
Unheard of.
But due to the construction, the maintenance guy didn't do any work on our floor for a week.
I had such hope for this little baby.
But in the end, it wasn't even the maintenance guy, it was my downstairs neighbor.
He didn't care that the egg was probably just about to hatch.
He just took it down and threw it all away.
Peace out embryo.

I was really rooting for that bird.

All of the birds.

I have been taking pics of the birds all spring and summer.
Waiting for the right time to figure out how to post about them.
I mean, how many nest fails can I document.

A lot.
Apparently.

So, you see.
This is where the drama happens.

About two weeks ago, I noticed a couple of twigs hanging out of my dryer vent.
Also, I noticed some birds sitting on the railing outside my front door every morning, but nowhere for them to nest.
I know you know where this is going.

Sidenote: I moved into my condo almost 7 years ago. The dryer ducts had just been cleaned, and they should be cleaned every two years.
I have never had mine cleaned.
I called the guy last year to come out and do it, but he asked me to call him back and I forgot.
Whoops.

Anyway, where were we?
Oh yes.
Twigs.

Then last Friday or something as I was waiting for the elevator with my neighbor, he mentioned that him and another neighbor saw what looked like a bird coming out of my dryer vent.
I was like GREAT.
I need to have that cleaned anyway.

Monday, driving to work, I hear a news report about Robert DeNiro's house practically burning down from a dryer vent story.
GOT IT.

Monday, after work, my other neighbor, the second witness to the bird sitch, who also happens to be the nest destroyer. Crusher of bird dreams, also mentioned the bird sighting. But that they had seen my dryer being used later that day, and air was flowing no problem.

Soo....yeah.
Still needed to call the duct guy, but no serious urgency.

Tuesday I posted this on Instagram, with the caption that I needed to do laundry.

Which I didn't do.
THANKFULLY.


Wednesday morning I woke up to a horrific stench.
Coming from what I thought was possibly the plumbing in my bathroom.
But it wasn't.
I ran the shower.
Cleaned the toilet.
Wiped down the sink.
The stench was still quite potent.

I used my sniffer, and ended up in front of my washer/dryer.
Checked the washer for moldy clothes.
Nope.

Opened the dryer door.
Boom.
Yep.
Something died in there.

GROSS.
I Yelped dryer duct cleaners ASAP.
Thankfully, a very nice duct cleaner was my second call.
(First call was very rude. Thanks, but no thanks rude guy.)
And he would be out the next day.

Today.

A full 80 degree day later.

My house was LOVELY last night.
Swoonworthy, really.
But, I digress.

I think he was a bit skeptical of my dead bird theory at first.
Until he approached the dryer.
He removed the ductwork, which reeked.
But we didn't really inspect it.
And we decided it needed to be replaced all together.
He cleaned the vent thoroughly, and no bird guts were found.

I was DYING (har! har!) to know IF there was ACTUALLY a dead bird in there.
But I didn't want to seem like a total loon.
He ended up checking for me by emptying the duct in the parking lot.
So I came down, and told him I needed to take a picture of it.
He thought that was hilarious.
I was on a blogger's mission.

Also.
I was relieved.
The source was eliminated.
And decomp city was history.

The damn bird wasn't even one of the doves I have been rooting for in the first place.
So I think I am still on team-build-a-nest-on-our-fire-alarm-but-not-in-my-dryer-vent.
Doves, I have your back.
And baby, you got back. Which is great. Because you can't fit in my dryer vent.

But, sparrows, you are so DEAD TO ME.

Literally.
And figuratively.

PS one KA giveaway is going on, up in heeee-yah. Chickity Check It.

Oui, Oui, Weird!

When the parentals returned from Paris they didn't waste any time texting me first thing the next morning.

Maybe the jetlag fueled their randomness....

Or

Maybe not....