My Heart

It's been a long week.

It's been a hard week.

My heart has been heavy most of the days.

Tears have been shed many of them. 

Some tears are for my own issues.

And some are on behalf of others.

But it's been a lot of tears.

A LOT.

More tears than probably have been shed in years.

There is so much brokenness. Too much. 

I don't know what lies below the dumps, but whatever it is, that's where I have been hanging out all week. 

I am tired.

I've lost some of my spirit these past few days.

My spunk went M.I.A.

Cheeriness out the window.

Melancholy is a heavy thing to carry on your shoulders.

It isn't fun. 

But, I know it's also part of life.

And that God is GOOD.

That he is ALWAYS working.

So, while I fight, and war against sadness, against self-pity, against despair, I am comforted by friends who bear my burdens with me. 

And even more so, I'm grateful for a God who is by my side fighting with me, fighting for me.

That HE is the one carrying those burdens. And that I don't have to.

I have spent a lot of time in His Word this week. 

The Psalms comfort me.

And the Big 4 (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians) encourage me.

My spirit has been hungry.

And the Word is the only thing that nourishes it.

So bear with me a little while longer, and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program very shortly.

In the mean time, if you need some comfort or encouragement, here is where I have been finding it this week. 

   Out of my distress I called on the LORD;
        the LORD answered me and set me free.
    The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.
        What can man do to me?
    The LORD is on my side as my helper;
        I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
(Psalm 118:5-7 ESV)


    For God alone my soul waits in silence;
        from him comes my salvation.
    He alone is my rock and my salvation,
        my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
(Psalm 62:1-2 ESV)

    Trust in him at all times, O people;
        pour out your heart before him;
        God is a refuge for us. Selah
(Psalm 62:8 ESV)

    The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
        and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18 ESV)

    Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
(Galatians 6:2 ESV)

    Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
(Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

    Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
   I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 3:13; Philippians 3:14 ESV)

    Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
(Colossians 3:12-15 ESV)

Where I Am At

Lately, I am floating somewhere between this....

Source

and this

Source

Things are good.
Things are busy.
I know I am disappointing people and falling short left and right.
Sometimes I feel like my life is in utter chaos.

My plate is full. Managing calendars. A blog. The mug swap. My home. A fundraiser.  Friendships. Church responsibilities. My family. Upcoming vacations. A full time job. A gym membership. A crazy Schnoodle.

To say that sometimes, I am very, very, very overwhelmed it might be an understatement.

But that can't be said without shouting from the rooftops that I do truly love the life I have been given.
The Lord has been incredibly gracious, and given much more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.

He is faithful, even when I am not.
He is good, even when I fall short.
He is LOVE, even when I am not even close.

Over and over through writing this blog, through the people that read it,
I am reminded of the GOOD, how much GOOD is in my life.

Because of Christ.
Because without Him, nothing would be good.
And because of Him, everything is.

Hope for Sudan

It's about to get real up in here.
I am going to use a lot of words.
If you are a reading this, I'm going to ask you to do me a huge favor and not click away just yet.
I know your time here, reading blogs, is precious.
Please, just read through to the end.


If you have been reading this blog for even a day, you probably know that I am part of a group of crazy people who, as led by the Lord, are planting a church in our city of San Mateo.

This year, the Lord has given us the privilege of partnering with HIM and sending several people from our small church body across the world - to places like Nepal, Liberia, and Sudan.
Seriously, it is a privilege. 

Through this, the hearts of people at Hope have been heavily burdened.

Let me tell you, I am not compassionate enough.
I don't care enough.
I struggle to love people I know sometimes.
Let alone people I have never met.
I'm not exactly known as having a bleeding heart.

This is HARD for me and my calloused comfortable heart.
But these facts, I can't ignore them.
You can't ignore them.

And that is what I am asking you to do.
Come with me, with us, as we open our eyes to what is going on 9,000+ miles across the planet.

People are dying.
Their earthly lives are perishing from a lack of food.
Their eternal lifes are perishing from a lack of the gospel.
NOW.
FAST.

I'm not trying to be overdramatic here - because, Lord knows, that is a gift I do have.
I'm just trying to be real.
I'm trying to communicate the sense of urgency on this small corner of the internet that is my soapbox.

The Lord has burdened our heart to pray, give, and go.

Pray big. REALLY big.
The Lord has been teaching me so much about His faithfulness, and his MIGHT lately.
That he is doing ALL of it.
Usually, I am not even seeing it until I step back and reflect.

Think about where you were a month ago. Six months ago. A year ago. Five years ago.
How far has He brought you?
I am confident you are not standing in the same place you were then.
I am confident that is because of Jesus work in your life.
Imagine what the Lord might do here. 

PRAY.


Do you know how much $25,000 is?
I sure as heck don't have that kind of money in my bank account.
But in a room of nine people on Sunday night, $5,000 of that was committed to the Lord.
In a matter of minutes.
20% of the initial financial goal.
What is he going to do here?

Fish & Loaves, people.

Like the blurb above states - $25,000 is NOTHING in terms of the excess that we live in.
What would a gift out of your abundance look like?
What would a gift out of your sacrifice look like?

Consider it.

GIVE.

Two or three men will be going in FIVE weeks.
One of which will be sent from Hope.
There is going to be a huge opportunity here to sustain what is being started this August. 
Educate yourself.
Find out what is going on in the Border Region of Sudan.
Consider partnering with us in this, not just prayerfully and financially, but physically.
Go there with your mind.
Go there with your heart.
Go there on a plane.

GO.

Maybe this is enough for you.
And you are ready to help.
Here is how you can, you can donate through Hope Church of San Mateo towards raising this $25,000.
We will send it all to the Sudan.
To move the food on the ground level. 

And, bloggy friends, can you help share this story?
It's been talked about before, let's use our influence for good.
This is one of those times.

Would you link to this post?
To the hope4sudan.hopesanmateo.org page?
Would you display our button?

Will you tweet? Will you share?
(Follow us here.)
Perhaps use a blog post to help spread the word?

Will you GIVE?

These are VERY, VERY small things, that have potential to have a HUGE impact on a hungry people.
This is grassroots.
This is a living room of people in San Mateo, California working through the Lord with people across the United States to practically serve and love a people who need literal food for life.
And more importantly, the BREAD OF LIFE, JESUS.

These are things YOU can do.
And you can do them now.

We know the Lord will provide the $25,000 - in the best way he sees fit.
Are you part of that?

I definitely do not have all of the answers, but send me your questions.

Because we love the Lord, and we love His people.
Even when it's hard.
Especially when it's hard.

    “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’”
   
(Matthew 25:31-40 ESV, emphasis added)

Here are some additional resources.
Find out.
Educate yourself.
Tell others.
You have heard of Ethiopia, and Darfur, and even Kony.
Do you know about Sudan?
Let's get this out there.
TODAY.

www.twitter.com/hopeSM4sudan 

Besieged in Sudan's Nuba Mountains

Samaritan's Purse

Conflict in the Nuba Mountains

Nuba 2012. A return to genocide? from Aegis Trust on Vimeo.