33: A Decade in Review

Dear 23-Year-Old-Kim,
You're 23! Happy Birthday, girl! You're about to embark on the craziest decade of your life (you've only lived 2 so far, but this one is going to be pretty nuts)! It's mostly going to be good stuff, GREAT stuff even. But there are going to be some really, really hard moments. Twenty-three is when you become an adult. This year is the catalyst to becoming a grown up, and you're ready. You've got this.

You're living at home now, you've been home from college for a few years, and moving home with no end in sight is a bit of a downer, I know you're sad a lot, and you feel hopeless, but you are going to be moving out, SOON. Just be patient. In a couple months you're going to get the call, offering you the option to purchase a condo right near downtown. You're very own place. That you OWN. By yourself. It's going to terrify you, the responsibility and the thought of being lonely.

You're going to love it. This place is going to be your resting place. Your sanctuary. Your shelter from the world. You are going to live here, laugh here, love here. You are going to cry here. You'll be scared. You'll be ecstatic. This will be your home base for all kinds of adventures. You will bake and cook and decorate and host all your friends. You will have several bible studies in your living room with all kinds of ladies.  This home is going to be one of the biggest blessings of the next decade of your life. It's a good one.

You're gonna get a puppy! When you get that call about the condo, the very first thing you do will be find yourself a dog. You already know this though, don't you? She's going to be awesome. She will be furry, and fluffy, and loving, and obedient...well, sometimes. She will get house-broken. She will bring you much joy. She will sit with you when you cry. Her eyes will look at you like you are her world. Because you are. And she is YOURS. You will go on adventures together. She will sit on the floor of your car ready to take on the world with you. It's going to be really, really fun.

As for the loneliness you worried about, you really aren't. Your life is so full of wonderful friends and family, that your home is a great place for you to recharge in the quietness. You're gonna find out, after all those years of extroversion, you're actually an introvert. Yeah, I wouldn't believe that either.

In a few short days, you're going to start a new job. You are super nervous leaving your old, secure job, but you weren't happy. And this one is going to be so much better. You think you'll just work there for a year (or two), and it is really going to be TEN (at least). Around year 5, you're going to laugh that you're still there. But you're going to laugh because you will realize how much really do love your job. You love weekends more, and you always will, but for a job, it's pretty awesome.  You're going to make some wonderful friends here. You're gonna love them. You'll spend every day with them for a DECADE (at least) and they will become like family. You spend the most of your time spinning in that same chair, in that same spot, but you will grow into an adult in that spot. It's going to be good.

You'll finish grad school this year as well. You'll be 23 and have a Masters Degree. I'm proud of you, girl. You'll never have to go to school again - as much as you really do enjoy it. The year ahead is such a big one, it kind of gets swept under the rug, but this is one milestone not to be overlooked.

And because of that job, you're going to be able to buy that home. And a car too. And pay your student loans. All on your own. It may seem silly to me now at 33, but I remember you 23-year-old-self, and the feeling that you'll never be able to do or afford anything on your own. But you will. This job is going to be one of the biggest blessings of your life. And you have no clue how much so.

You're going to travel. I know right now you have zero interest in seeing the world. I get that. I remember that. But, in about 5 years you're gonna SEE IT. You'll finally leave the continent, and head to Ireland, and get those first stamps in your passport, and after that, there will be no stopping you. You're going to go to 20 countries on three continents, and fill up pages of your passport. You'll kiss the Blarney Stone, go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, gamble in the Casino de Monte Carlo. YOU WILL PET A LION. You're going to go to Russia, and Croatia, Turkey, Estonia. You will go to several islands in Greece - they will be your favorite. You'll turn 29 somewhere between England and Denmark. You'll turn 30 in Barcelona, 31 in Florence. You'll go to SOUTH AFRICA. Yes, you will. I know, I'd freak out about it too.

You will travel across the country 4 times to help those who have lost everything. Three of those times you will go to the south, Mississippi to be specific. You will meet people who trust you immediately, because they need help, and love, and HOPE. You really won't do much, besides throw out waterlogged sheet rock, and sift through scattered photographs, but you will listen. And you you will cry. And God will use you. And HE will get much glory.

A few years later, after all the dust from the first hurricane has settled, you will go on that 4th trip, to New Jersey. You will step into a strangers home, and feel like you are walking into a familiar place. The sights, the sounds, the SMELLS. You look down at your feet, and see floorboards that were once carpeted. You will rip sheet rock off walls once more. Pull nails out of studs. You will find damp photographs in the dirt. You will wear gloves, and a mask, and get insulation in your hair again. And you will cry for all of the "stuff" your new friends have lost. You will be shocked to be standing the midst of such loss. Again. But again, you will be the hands and the feet of the Church. One word, on one page, of the story the Lord is writing in so many people's lives.

Speaking of the church, things are going to change. In a few years, you're going to leave the place you have known, and the halls you have walked for the past 23 years. It is going to be scary and awesome all in one. It is going to be one of the biggest leaps of faith you will take, but it will also be crystal clear. You will see the Lord leading like no other time in your life. He will open doors, and shut others. Figuring out what friendships and relationships look like after this will be one of the more complicated parts. Tread gently, be humble, give much grace. God is good, and He will guide you through it.

Your new church is called Hope Church. It will feel like home. It will be family. And the truth is, it's going to be really hard. And it's going to be really, really good. But really, really hard. But so much fun too. I'm 33 now, and in the midst of serving here. God is so good. And 4 years in, we are still just in the beginning. Something someone will tell you in the beginning is to "be faithful in the little". Remember that when you're cleaning out a 40 cup sludgy coffee pot for the 200th time in an elementary school bathroom sink.  Laugh at yourself a lot. Give much grace. And serve people well. Give God the glory.

You will also learn that the Church isn't just the people within the same walls and who you sing next to on Sunday mornings. It's the people who are faithfully gathering in their own pews, chairs, benches, floors around the world, praising the Author of all things. You're going to have so many opportunities to be the Church, with the Church. It won't always be what you expect, and that is a gift of grace.

I hate to tell you this, but by 33 you won't married.  You'll go on a few dates, some will be better than others. You will hate this fact, I know it. But trust me when I say this - you are going to get to do so much because of the freedom of being single. You will be able to book your next trip to Europe on a whim. You will get to go to Europe 5 or 6 times, because you can. It's going to be really good. Who knows where the next 10 years will put us, but enjoy these last 10 for all you do get to do, not what you don't.

Here's where things get real. You're going to lose one of your closest friends. Suddenly. You will be emailing and talking with her every single day, planning out the details of her wedding, including on a Friday afternoon at 4:30pm. And two days later, on a Sunday morning sitting in the pews at church, you will receive a call she was in an accident and is fighting for her life. You will fly to her bedside, and pray over her, with her. You will hold her swollen hand. You will touch her blood-soaked braid. And you will cry more than you have, or will in years. You will say goodbye, and hope it is just a "see you later". You will come home, and wait, and hope beyond hope. In prayer and pain. And a week later you will be told she doesn't make it.  This will be one of the worst years of your life. The darkness will not lift. The world will go on around you. While your heart aches and grieves over the loss of one of your best friends. The only person you will want to talk to is her, and you have SO much to say. But she will be gone.

But people will surround you. Friends and family. The sun will set each day, and rise each morning. And with each of those, the pain will gradually lessen. God is faithful. He will teach you much. You will learn to understand loss and grief. He will use you because of this. He will not waste anything.  He will get you through it. The hurt will never fully subside, but you will walk with it in your heart, a little more compassionate, a whole lot wiser and better because of it. And you will recognize, that though this was the hardest thing of the past 10 years, you have SO so much to be grateful for.

Twenty-three-year-old-self, if you can't tell by what I just told you, this next decade is going to be quite the ride. Hang on, say yes to things, and know you will get through it. You will be sitting here writing this letter to yourself in 10 years with a big grin, being so grateful for what the last decade has brought you. I think life will be different than you expected, but I think you'll like it.  Let's check back in in another 10 and see where we're at, (hello, future 43 year old (ouch) self)!  If it's even half as incredible as the last 10 we'll be in a good place.

Happy Birthday, Girl. I love you.

Love,
33-Year-Old-Kim

2013. Done & Done.

2013. Gone. Done. Adios.

2013, you weren't my favorite year.
You weren't my least favorite year, no, that was 2007.
But, compared to more recent years past, there was a lot to live up to, and you just didn't make the mark.
So, I can't blame you 2013, I just wish you had stepped up your game.

There were incredible highlights, like that time I went to Hawaii with my parents and went snorkeling with my dad and a pod of wild dolphins jumped and spun along side our boat...

And then...AND THEN they joined us for a swim in Honolua Bay.
Hands down, no question, best moment of the year.

And in 2013, there were no new countries visited. No new states either. Most of the year was spent along the West Coast exploring.
NorCal, SoCal, CenCal - is CenCal a thing?

I adventured locally. Baked a lot. And spent a bit of time changing things around to make my house even more of a home.

I caught both sunrises and sunsets. Many, many sunsets.
Each one, reminding me not to worship the created, as incredible as it is, but the creator - who is more incredible than these mere samples of His glory.

As I reflect on 2013 here in these first days of 2014, and I begin my daily quiet times in the book of Genesis, I am reminded that as in creation, "God saw that it was good".

Despite 2013 not being a milestone year, one necessarily for any record books other than my own, God still saw that it was good. 

I ended 2012 and began 2013 reminding myself that the Lord does not waste anything. He redeems it all, as he showed me at the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012, for His glory, and our good.

Funny how he has been stringing these pieces together. Sanctifying me each year, He is the one writing the story.  Teaching me. Slowly.

And as I begin 2014, I don't know what the Lord holds in store. I don't know how next January's post will read. What lessons I will learn.  But I know that it is in the hands of the Almighty God. All knowing. All powerful. Infinitely loving.

So on these crisp January days of 2014, where the trees are mere skeletons, and the ground is parched longing for rain that hasn't come, where the skies are hazy and smoggy, I need to cling to Jesus for 2014. I want to set my heart on things above. Because I long for belonging. I need to long for Him. And he has made me his own. I belong to Him. He loves me. He has chosen me. And I want to remember that all the days He has for me this year.  I have been chosen by the Almighty God. And in the end, at the end of the day, the end of the year, the end of my days, that is all that matters.

Advent: Hope, Peace, Joy, Love

Growing up in church, "advent" to me just meant a family with really cute kids would stand in the front of church on Sunday and read something from the bible.
Usually I was too distracted by the kids being funny or adorable, or even unruly.
Most of the time I missed the advent readings. I was more focused on the dads' attempts and failures to use a lighter, while the congregation chuckled.

But  the past few years, I have tried to be more intentional with the Christmas season. Some years have been better than others.

That feeling on Christmas Day, after the gifts are opened, and the tummies are full, and the laughter has quieted, when you realize the season has passed you buy, and most of it was spent thinking about gifts and treats and decorations, can be the most convicting of feelings.

But advent, it means "the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event."

So as we wait for the arrival of the Messiah this Christmas, we wait, with Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.  And I am setting my heart on these things this advent season.  Spending time in the Word meditating on these amazing gifts that the Lord has given.

Inspired by the desire to seek Jesus and celebrate His birth intentionally (and something I saw on Pinterest), I was able to put together this makeshift advent wreath with things I already had, mason jars, cake stand, twine, Epsom salts, tea lights, and whipped up the Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love tags.

It's not too late to start this season with a heart of advent, mason jars not required.
However, if you want to make your own wreath or something like it, I am so happy to share the tags as well. (Just right click and save.)

And lastly, if you're looking for a great devotional to read this season, I recommend Good News of Great Joy from Desiring God/John Piper - which are the December readings in the Year Round Piper Devotional App (also available on the YouVersion app). Or, this book - which takes you through the Christmas story in the Bible with writings by believers from centuries past through today, from many perspectives within the Christmas story. 

Seek Christ and His Christmas this year. Celebrate the arrival of the most notable and worthy King!
He is the only one who can fill your heart with Hope, Peace, Joy, Love.

Happy Thanksgiving

My Tribe

tribe

trīb

noun

1. 1.

   a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

   "indigenous Indian tribes"

   synonyms:

   ethnic group, people, band, nation; More

   • 
     

We all have tribes. Some are our churches, our families, our organizations, our social circles. 

This collection of elephants is sort of what my tribe looks like. 

A colorful collection of pachyderms, collected from around the world.

 Sudan

 Liberia

 Guatemala

 Kenya

 Sri Lanka

 Israel

 Nepal

 India

 Rwanda

 South Africa

 Cambodia

 Burma/Myanmar

Oklahoma

Each little, or not so little, elephant was a gift from someone in my tribe who has gone somewhere on this big earth to love God's people and share the good news of His gospel as they serve Him and them.

When I look up at this display of God's grace and mercy in palm sized tokens of wood, stone, and fabric, I'm reminded of His goodness. His love for His people. His love for me. 

He has blessed me by placing me in a tribe of people who eagerly seek Him. 

On those days when its harder to praise Him, obey Him, and be joyful, I look at these silly trinkets and am reminded of those who have done hard things, with joy in their hearts, because of Christ.  And I thank God for them. 

I'm reminded of how God uses His people to serve more of His people. 

And a lot of times its the people who are there to do the "loving and serving" who are the ones beings loved and served.

On Friday the Lord sent out one of my tribe. Five of those elephants are from her. She is absolutely the elephant VIP. And on Friday, Betsy left the comforts of North America, of wide open spaces, and dry land to serve on the Africa Mercy with Mercy Ships in the Democratic Republic of Congo. For six months she will live in the tiniest of quarters on a ship docked in Africa.

Betsy obediently studied hard through the years, got into an excellent nursing program, graduated, passed her boards, and worked diligently on a surgical floor of a hospital for several years to obtain experience.  Meanwhile, serving around the world in a medical capacity on her breaks and vacations. She has travelled to Africa, Asia, and Central America The story of how the Lord mapped this out for her is incredible. It puts Him and His plan on display. 

Betsy, I love you and am so proud of you. You encourage me more than you know. I love seeing your heart for people and the way you challenge me to be more than words, but to be action. Not to just love mercy and walk humbly, but to DO justly.  Thank you for being a doer, for Christ. 

Go, and love well, serve well.

Feel free to follow along with Betsy in Africa at www.betsystill.blogspot.com. 

Kicking off Summer Right: Yosemite National Park

If you know me, there are two words that are not often used to describe me: spontaneous and outdoorsy.

I wouldn't say they are never used, but definitely not often.
However, in recent years, I've tried to be a bit more of both.

Friday, I earned those adjectives.

So when, my fun, adventurous and extremely outdoorsy friend Wendy invited me to take a day trip with her to Yosemite National Park, I was VERY tempted to make it happen.
She even sent me Facebook messages with pictures Half Dome calling my name.

I knew I had to go.
So I scrambled to get as much work done as possible, so I could take Friday off.
God is good, and made a miracle happen.

So at 6:30am, on the first day of Summer, and longest day of the year, Wendy picked me up for the 3 1/2 hour drive into Yosemite.

We had a great time catching up, chatting, enjoying the drive, and eventually listening to a book on CD. (Oh yes, we did).

Soon enough we were driving into the ranger station at Yosemite, where Wendy is a passholder (oh, hey now) and then it was about a half hour drive into the valley. We were talking, and as we rounded one of the bends, I literally gasped, as Half Dome and El Cap snuck up on me, towering in the distance.
It was spectacular.

Wendy was thrilled to see that, despite the peak season, it wasn't as crowded as she had expected. We were able to find parking easily, and set off on foot!

Our first stop, was hiking to the top of Vernal Falls. I was super excited about this, as I had gone one time w/ a summer camp in Jr High, and had a slightly odd experience here as well - which is another story for another time. It was really good to do this again, and enjoy it.

I just want to say, this pic of us is my favorite picture of the day, but then I love them all. But really, this is a framer.

But then, I mean, look at these...

Thankfully Wendy is one of the most patient friends I know, and didn't complain ONCE about my slow pace. By the top my legs were shaking pretty good from all the muscles getting used, but it was totally and completely worth it.

It's not exactly Half Dome, but it was my Half Dome, and getting to the top was a real victory.

 I was so happy. 

After a few snacks, and shooing squirrels out of my backpack, we made our descent, back to the valley floor where we had more exploring to do.

And on our way down, the most exciting thing of my life happened. (Slight over-exaggeration, but just slight).
We saw a bear.
In nature.
Like, the real deal.

Two separate kids who passed us were asking their parents questions about bears, which seemed weird to me. And then I saw a crowd up ahead. I knew we were in for a treat. Just below us, was cute little bear, eating something. He was very occupied with whatever it was and could care less about the visitors above spying on him.

Bear & bear hat!

We hiked from the base of Vernal Falls to Mirror Lake. The sign said one mile. And then about one mile later the sign said one mile again. I'm pretty sure whoever made those signs is a LIAR.
However, it was almost completely flat, and in the shade of the trees, so aside from the horse poop along the trail, it was actually rather enjoyable.

We took off our shoes and crossed the lake on foot, and enjoyed our lunch right underneath Half Dome.

I mean, it doesn't get much better than that.

Wendy had taken a dip in the lake - like I said, she's the adventurous one.
And laid out to dry and read a book.

While I sat in the shade and took selfies with and panoramas of H-Dizzle.

After our break, we headed back towards the middle of the valley, and on our way to the shuttle bus, we saw another bear! He was a little guy, crossing the street. I didn't get a pic, but I was seriously going to keel over with happiness. Once on the shuttle, we passed a huge buck with velvet antlers grazing in the valley! Again with the overflow of happy!

I had told Wendy I really wanted pictures of Halfy from the valley, so she made sure we made that happen.

Photography dreams coming true right here.

And we strolled around a bit more, and found ourselves a nice shady spot along the river, right in line with the view of Yosemite Falls. (Someday I will get to the top of that...maybe.)

And eventually it was time to pack up. We headed back to the car, and saw another buck, and then a doe.

And as we cruised out of the valley, we got up close and personal with Yosemite Falls.

And finally, El Capitan.
I craned my neck out the window, and I might have been gasping and wowing the whole time. It was a majestic, granite wonder.

As we spent the day in the shadows and coolness of the create, I envisioned the way the Lord pieced together this masterpiece. How he likely moved glaciers to cut through the granite, how he placed rainbows under waterfalls, reminding us of the flood that once filled even this place, and his promise not to do so again.

My heart sang and cried out for the creator, for the day when we will finally sit and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty.

Yosemite is great, but heaven, it's going to be something else. I can't wait. 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91:1, ESV)